One pawstep at a time

I’m so sorry it’s been a while since Ive put paw to iPad but it’s been busy round here to say the least.

It’s only been just over three months since the little polar bear bunny cat tiny terror joined the purrfectly imperfect crew but it seems like so much longer. Our lives have been turned completely upside down and sideways and shaken up as she has progressed through her journey of becoming part of a furramily. Things started off ok when she had her own room as we still had the run of all the rest of the house but as time went on and she was gradually let out more and more her territory expanded and ours shrunk. Everywhere smelt of Mona Lisa, everything smelt strange and as her confidence with exploring her new home grew so did her energy. The sound of a mini polar bear bunny cat running full speed up and down the corridor is uneasy for a blind cat, it’s the sound of rushing and running and the know,edge you can’t run away as fast as they are running towards you. It was scary times. Still, over time as the excitement of having so much space to run and explore dwindled I started to remember what I felt like when I joined this furramily, a complete and utter sense of freedom, like nothing I had ever felt before, like I had just found out what it’s like to be me for the first time ever.

Everything was new, interesting and exciting and there were so many things that I could never have dreamt existed, like warm, soft beds, toys, carpet, play, safety, fun, food, kindness, snuggles, boxes, laps, catflix, rain, brushes and of course most of all unconditional love. Every one of those things that other ‘kitties’ have grown up with and taken for granted are all extras for us, before life was about survival not fun and it takes time to adjust to this new found sense of being happy and finding this sense of happiness and who you really are and can be causes uneasiness for those who are already settled and have discovered who they truly are.

Then there’s the language barrier, us blindies can only go by what we hear, smell and feel, we can’t pick up on those intricate kitty body language cues that is used so much in cat language. I can’t tell if Mona Lisa is demonstrating her best witches cat impression to warn me she’s feeling uncertain so me and Angelin just carry on as normal which is confusing for Mona Lisa and if we then accidentally go towards her space then she feels threatened and she doesn’t understand why we did it when she gave us all the songs that she was feeling scared.

Likewise when Millie says she’s really frustrated coz when she’s staring at Mona Lisa to let her know that she’s the top cat between them and Mona Lisa tries to do a slow blink to let Millie know she likes her that doesn’t quite work coz Mona Lisa can’t blink properly coz she has a paralysed eye and so that gives very strange and confusing signals to Millie who then also gets very mixed signals about what Mona Lisa wants to do and a little scared. Plus she hasn’t got a tail to swish about to show how she’s feeling, when I’m annoyed I love to thwack my tail on the floor and everypawdy can see and hear exactly how I’m feeling, I can make that very clear, likewise when I’m out on walkies and at my most happy I can hold my tail upright and strut my stuff and do my happy dance but for Mona Lisa sadly she can’t show her feelings in this way. As mummy says it’s all very confusing as we’re all talking slightly different languages and we don’t quite understand each other yet. We’re getting there though but it’s a slow process which needs lots of patience on all sides.

Then as the kitty dynamic works its way through there’s also some first times for us as well, not quite the same as Mona Lisa’s first times but more us (well me) getting back to doing the things we used to do such as going into ‘her’ part of the house, as I said before it all smelt of her but as she’s moved into our part of the house scents have started to mingle and as mummy has moved some of Mona Lisa’s stuff out of ‘her’ room. I’m starting to remember how nice it was to have bathroom loves with mummy and daddy, escort them to bed and sleep on the bed with them for the whole night and helping mummy get ready for work in the morning. Mummy says that I’ve made the first step in getting back to what was normal.

Sometimes though there’s a little breakthrough, Mona Lisa plucking up the courage to discover how fun boxes can be, the first time she wasn’t scared of a toy, the first time she didn’t sleep in ‘her’ room, the first time she ate from our bowls, the first time she used our litter tray, the first time she ran through the play tunnel, the first time she played with the red dot, the first time we all shared treats and most exciting of all the first time she jumped onto the sofa, the first time she snuggled with mummy. Hopefully there’ll never be a first time she gets on my wheel coz then there really will be trouble.

My slightly grumpy nature of growling and shouting at the top of my voice when something new and scary comes along seems to be paying off as this seems to be language that Mona Lisa understands. Of all of us remarkably it seems that I’m the one that’s getting back to normal quickest, every other time I’ve always been the last to come around to any newcommer. I wonder if as life on the streets can a very lonely and scary place if perhaps Mona Lisa hasn’t had any kitty friends before and she doesn’t quite know what to do with us, I fink because of her awful start to life and how scared and vulnerable she must have felt being alone and in pain on the streets she doesn’t yet know how to be nice to us, how to play with us, maybe as she doesn’t know us yet she thinks we’re going to hurt her like the other cats might have done. We’re not like that though and perhaps she just needs some extra time to realise that in this furramily we’re all lovers not fighters and there’s nothing to be scared of here.

But don’t you worry little polar bear bunny cat you might fight us every step of the way but we’re in this for the long term. As mummy says to us every night “you’re loved, you’re safe, you’re home” and we’ll help you find the love no matter how long it takes. The love of playing with and chasing your sisfurs, the love of snuggling into Millies warm snuggly (although slightly tickly) floof, the love of trying to beat Angelin at wrestling and the love of making a biiig furry snuggle puddle on a lap or by the fire. I would say the love of zoomies but I think from the sound of the paws thundering backward and forwards through the living room and cons club that you’ve just found the love of this for the first time now so that’s another one off the ‘firsts’ list.

Well done little sisfur, I know it’s a long road with a way to go yet but you’re getting there, one pawstep at a time.

And of course I didn’t forget…happy birthday to daddy. He looks after us every day and is doing a great job at being a referee and our guardian whilst we find our new dynamic. Mummy says him and Angelin also double as a bond villian.