I’ve had many occasions in my life where I have been scared, afraid, confused, lonely, alone, nervous and excited but never one where I have been sad. That is until this week. This week for the first time in my life I was very sad. This week my big sister Mia Passed away and crossed the rainbow bridge to be reunited with her siblings that have crossed over before her, Misty and Piper.

Mummy and daddy went to see her every night that she was in the hospital, mummy would come home, drop her work stuff, grab the car keys, say a quick hello to Peppar and I before saying “I’m off to meet daddy and see Mia”. I meowed and purred at mummy to tell her to pass mine and Peppars love onto Mia, we missed having her at home.

I tried to help by keeping Mia’s bed warm for her for when she came home so it would be nice and warm and snuggly for her.

On Tuesday mummy also grabbed a bed and cuddle cave that Mia liked, mummy explained that this might make Mia feel more at home whilst she was in the hospital As it would smell of her, Peppar and I rather than ‘hospital’. Mia had apparently been much more assertive that day than she had been on previous ones, she had been fairly withdrawn and quiet before then, this gave some optimism that she still had some fight left in her. When daddy and mummy got there the nurse said they were glad we had come as she had been a bit of a rock star diva and trashed her hotel room and it needed tidying up for her. As mummy and daddy were there they could let them be with Mia in one of the rooms away from the wards meaning they had time to make Mia’s bed up again and put everything back in order for her. Mummy and daddy showed me some photos of Mia from that night and I think she was probably upset and embarrassed because she had a feeding tube up her nose and they had put a cone of shame on her. For a girl of her age this is very undignified so she told them that I’m no uncertain terms!

Mummy and daddy were gone a long time that evening and when they got home they told me and Peppar that Mia had spent two hours with them purring, chin rubbing and cuddling with them. She was initially a bit agitated and had got a bit messy from the feeding tube and having the drip attached. They took time giving her face, head and neck a bit of a wash which she really enjoyed. She started really calming down and started purring and trying to snuggle in with them, she even started going off to a purry peaceful snooze. By the time the nurse came in to collect Mia to take her off for an ultrasound of her tummy to try to find out what the problem was that was making her so poorly she was calm, chilled out and quite content to be put back in the carrier to see the specialist vet. Mummy said that the ultrasound of her tummy was to try to find out what the problem was that was making her so poorly and stopping her from wanting to eat. The rest of the event no was the usual quiet evening without Mia at home and with me making sure that mummy was kept occupied by playing with me until it was time to go to bed.

It was the middle of the night when the landline phone rang and woke us all up. The phone doesn’t ring very often and I’ve not heard it ring at that time of the morning before. This was unusual and I wondered what was going on. Mummy answered and then put it onto the speaker so daddy could hear as well. It was the night vet from the hospital, she said she had found Mia in a coma, unconscious but breathing, that her glucose levels and blood pressure had dropped dramatically and hadn’t improved even with glucose injections. Mummy and Daddy sounded shocked – I haven’t heard them speak with this tone before. The vet asked if they would come to the hospital and of course they said yes. The vet then asked if she stopped breathing before the arrived should she resuscitate her, mummy and daddy said no. I knew then that this was very serious even though I don’t really know what this all meant but I could understand mummy and daddy’s tone of voice and actions. Mummy and daddy left and I went to Peppar for reassurances day support but he was as worried and confused as I was.

Mummy and daddy came home much sooner than I expected, they were both very sad and told Peppar and I that Mia had become very ill by the time they arrived at the hospital and they had made the decision to end her pain and let her Go so she could cross the rainbow 🌈 bridge. I sensed that mummy and daddy needed to be left to be quiet together so I was a good girl and just sat with them. I gave them the odd meow and did twirlies to let them rub my head as this helps them to feel better and I know they like that. I then went off to ask Peppar what they had meant about the rainbow 🌈 bridge.

Peppar explained it to me, I then realised why I hadn’t heard of it before an why some other animals hadn’t either. For those of you who also don’t know let me explain. The rainbow 🌈 bridge is something that only cared for and loved 💖 pets know about. That’s why I hadn’t heard of it before, it’s not somewhere street cats nor those who are unloved or abused know about until they are lucky enough like me to find their furrever homes.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

I thought my furrever home would be the same forever but that’s not the case now and I’m sad as I didn’t know Mia for very long and didn’t really have the chance to show her how much I loved and admired her. This has all happened so quickly that I keep getting confused and going over to one of the beds where Mia used to sit and sniffing it and then I go to the next bed to try and find her there but she’s not there either. For a split second I wonder where she’s gone before I remember what mummy and daddy said about her not coming home. Gradually, as time goes on the smells and scents of Mia have faded bit by bit each day. This makes me sad but she hasn’t faded in my heart or my memories where she will live forever. My new little furry family’s balance has shifted and there is a big gap that has been left now and it will take us both time to adapt.

My job now is to help Peppar, he is very sad, he had known Mia for his whole life and doesn’t know life without her, he also lost Misty not so long ago so I must be brave and strong for him. He’s my big brother and I love him. He needs my support and love and I will do my best to help him get through his loss (and mine). If I’m in any doubt I’ll just play with him so he has something to do! Peppar also told me about another poem he had learnt about when Misty passed, he shared this with me and so I thought I would share it with you all as well. It provides Peppar with comfort knowing his human family will do what is best for him (and now me) should the time come.

I have learnt even in my short life that we should all be kind to one another. For me this stared with Anna who rescued me and then my new family who gave me my furrever home. Kindness however extends into many different and difficult circumstances and I rest assured that my family’s love for me (and Peppar) leads them to always do what is right and not necessarily what is easiest.

If I Should Grow Frail (AKA The Last Battle)

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can’t be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don’t let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don’t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We’ve been so close — we two — these years,
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

— Julia Napier

Rest in Peace dear Mia, I will always remember you and your kind meows to me during the time we spent together. Along with the lessons and teachings (and telling’s off) of how to play with and respect older cats, I send you my apologies for playing with you a little to excitedly whilst not understanding how I should respect your age and position as my Queen – I hope you forgive me for this. I will remember your advice and try to follow the example you set of how to lead a clowder with kindness, wisdom and compassion. Thank you for welcoming me into your family, I will love 💕 you and remember you for ever and try to live by your example. Hopefully one day I will become the Queen of my own clowder, if I do I shall try to be like you. Thank you for being part of my life.